Trapped in the Bathroom for 30 Minutes

trapped
help me, R Kelly

FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

The doorknob to my bathroom wouldn’t turn so I did what any man would do: I turned it harder. I had just finished showering so I was still wet, eager to get out of the bathroom and make coffee. I turned as hard as I could, because you know, brute strength always solves problems—but then the damn knob just… fell. Now I didn’t have a way of turning the door. I was trapped in the bathroom, R-Kelly style. Continue reading “Trapped in the Bathroom for 30 Minutes”

Post-Apocalyptic Movies Reflect The State of The Union

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This is getting easier to imagine

FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

In the same way that nightmares serve an evolutionary purpose of mentally preparing us for real world dangers, I believe that apocalyptic movies also serve a similar function for society: namely, they prepare us for the worst. This may explain a correlation of historical events to the rise of apocalyptic movies.

Continue reading “Post-Apocalyptic Movies Reflect The State of The Union”

Unqualified Bullet Points On the Election

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FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

I’m still trying (and will be for a long time) to gather all my thoughts on what just happened. Until I can fully grasp all of these things, I’m going to just start bullet pointing some of my unqualified thoughts.

Continue reading “Unqualified Bullet Points On the Election”

Things I’ve Read While Pretending to Work

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newyorker.com

FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

For some people November is a slow month. In my job, we have a name for it: No-Work November. There are obvious and good reasons for this: along with the non-existent workflow, there are also days off like Election Day, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving. That means November is a month with some serious downtime to spend on expanding your gut as preparation to take more food in the upcoming holidays; getting to know your coworkers better by throwing things at them when no-one is looking; and of course finding some interesting things to read. Continue reading “Things I’ve Read While Pretending to Work”

Sightseeing FiDi Without Ever Stepping Outside

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Brookfield Plaza

FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

What I’m most impressed about from the completion of the World Trade Center Transportation Hub isn’t that it’s this awe-inspiring architectural wonder with a price tag of $4-billion, but that it essentially links the Financial District (FiDi) from one end to another, allowing pedestrians to walk through the width of Downtown Manhattan entirely indoors. That means that when it’s too cold, too hot, too wet, too frozen, too whatever outside—you can still sightsee (or in my case, just get to work) through Downtown without ever stepping outside. Continue reading “Sightseeing FiDi Without Ever Stepping Outside”

Guide to Staying in On a Rainy Saturday

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not leaving here

FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

I had plans for a lunch date but it has been rain-checked. Outside, it’s cold and sad—yet I am oddly relieved. I get to do what I haven’t done in a long time: just stay inside and do nothing for the day. Here is my tiny guide to staying in bed or the couch:

Continue reading “Guide to Staying in On a Rainy Saturday”

The Rise and Fall of Trump as Explained by Game Theory

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Nope!

FROM THE DESK OF: DEO

Like pretty much all of you, I can’t take my eyes of this train wreck otherwise known as the Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump. On a daily basis, I often find myself typing “trump” on Google news eagerly awaiting what terrible thing he will do next to further ruin his candidacy. Continue reading “The Rise and Fall of Trump as Explained by Game Theory”

Learning Unknown History From Ancient Aliens

ancientaliens
obviously

FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

Since the dawn of civilization mankind has credited its origins to gods and other visitors from the stars. What if it were true? Did extraterrestrials really help to shape our history? These are the opening lines of my favorite show on the History Channel. Continue reading “Learning Unknown History From Ancient Aliens”

My Favorite Coffee Shops in New York City

 

grounded
Inside of Grounded Coffee (source: insidenewyork)

FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

I love Starbucks coffee, but I could never stay there. Stay as in, read a book or do some work or even talk to people. Something about Starbucks makes me want to take my coffee to go. Sure they try and welcome me by writing my name on their cup, but they’re not fooling me. They’re not fooling anyone. It’s still too impersonal, too rushed. When the barista wants you to leave as soon as possible and so do the customers waiting in line (so they can get their coffee faster), well then, the vibe becomes that you’ll want to leave as soon as possible. I would not want to stay where I’m not actually wanted. Plus, there are never any goddamn tables available anyway. Continue reading “My Favorite Coffee Shops in New York City”

Friends (the TV Show) vs Real Life

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How did they live here?

FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

I sometimes find myself walking around different neighborhoods in NYC and would wonder how much a one bedroom or a two bedroom apartment would cost there. Later when I’d get home, I’d look it up online, take a sip of water, then violently spit it out while muttering to myself, How the hell does anybody afford to live anywhere here? Is everyone in New York City a trust fund baby?   Continue reading “Friends (the TV Show) vs Real Life”