Apartment Move During a Summertime Heat Wave

Flatbush-Ditmas Park, Brooklyn


It’s been scorching these last two weeks in New York. Literally the hottest days of the year in what is the hottest year ever recorded in history. I’ve been sweating all the damn time. Heck, I’m sweating now. It’s generally a smart time to try and stay cool. Staying indoors and blasting the AC? Very smart. Going to the beach and jumping in the Atlantic Ocean? Very smart. Moving to a new apartment in ninety degree weather? Not so much. What is it like to move during this time?

It’s Grossly Hot

It’s really the humidity that makes it so much worse. Everything sticks to your skin. It’s just muggy and sticky on top of being in the 90’s for the last two weeks. The next week looks to be the same thing. I can’t walk two blocks without sweating and feeling gross. Now imagine lifting furniture up three flights of stairs in this weather. I’m like, why god, why?

It’s Grossly Dehydrating

I’ve been thirsty all the time. Whatever I drink just evaporates. Incidentally, I am now in love with seltzer. Where has this drink all my life? It’s just carbonated water, but man it’s so good. It has the feel of soda but without the disgusting 36 grams of sugar. It is especially amazing during the heat. Oh man, I want some right now, but that would require walking in the heat to get it.

Flatbush-Ditmas Park, Brooklyn

It’s Grossly Expensive

Let’s start with the fact that when moving you need to provide first and last months rent in addition to a security deposit. In the words of every exasperated Filipino aunt and uncle… hesusmarihosep! (Jesus Mary Joseph). And after that is covered, there is also the little bit of trouble literally filling out the entire empty apartment and bedroom with furniture! In the words of every exasperated Filipino aunt and uncle… hesushesushesushesuuusssss (Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus). My bank account and I aren’t friends right now.

It’s Grossly Time Consuming

Ikea furniture is cheap for a reason: you are pretty much building the damn thing yourself. I’m sure you’ve build a bed before from Ikea so you’ll know my pain, but building that entire thing with a little twisty metal stick takes forever. Yes, the manual is dope, thank you Swedes, but holy hell, I’m already drenched in sweat, must this take all day. There is also the frequent trips to multiple targets, Century 21, and a whole lot of online shopping. I had to stop building a small side desk because, after four hours of assembly, it still required I hammer down twenty one nails. I can’t be hammering stuff at 11:30 at night. I got kids to feed! Okay that’s not true, I don’t have kids. But still, I must be considerate to neighbors and what not.

It’s Grossly Beautiful

In the end, it’s all worth it.

Flatbush-Ditmas Park, Brooklyn

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