A Cableless Olympics



Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve loooooved watching the Olympics. Granted, I didn’t quite understand the sociopolitical challenges this event often imposes on some countries when I was a kid; but even as a slightly more jaded adult, I gotta admit – it is pretty incredible to see the world come together (somewhat) peacefully for a few games, even if it is just for a couple of weeks.

This is the first Olympics I’ve experienced without having cable or a t.v. antenna, and let me tell you: it. is. torture. For someone who has never been a huge sports fan but has always been fascinated with world cultures, the Olympics are the one time I get to load up on inspirational stories from around the world and pretend I know anything about sports; how am I supposed to do that when I can’t even watch a full program for more than 30 minutes without NBC asking me for tv provider credentials? This is one big, fat dash-underscore-dash face. -_-

So for now, I’m left to watch highlights on Snapchat and short Youtube clips to satisfy my Olympic cravings. But even so, I’m still somehow finding a way to get into the spirit of these games. It’s requiring some creativity and a whole lotta imagination, but I think it’s working.

Here are some of the ways I’ve celebrated XXXI Olympiad… without actually watching the full programs live.

I pretend I’m in Rio by eating lots of acai bowls and attending jiu jitsu competitions. Lately I’ve been creating a lot of menus at work featuring acai bowls, and I think reading about them all day has made me crave them. A lot. They’re quickly becoming one of my favorite snacks, and I just can’t seem to get enough of that pitaya, coconut shavings, and granola. It’s like a little spoonful of Ipanema with every bite. Mmm. On a separate note, my roommate has also been getting into Brazilian jiu jitsu and just competed in her first competition this past weekend. Attending her competition makes me feel like I’m at a live Olympic event, even though BJJ isn’t an official sport in the Olympics yet.


I pretend I’m a veteran judge of all athletic events when I watch recaps. But particularly for gymnastics. For some reason, every time I watch gymnastics, I think my two months of gymnastics lessons as a seven-year-old provide me with enough knowledge to make a sound evaluation of an Olympic gymnast’s performance. “Ouch, that was a tough vault… she didn’t stick her landing.” “Ooh, she hopped…” Who the heck do you think you are, Nina? #sitdown


I stick around extra long at bars with t.v.’s, watch the events, and live vicariously through the Olympians… all while chowing down on a ton of fried foods washed down with beer. I cherish my moments at bars when I actually do get to see any events being broadcasted on the telly. This is when I become fully immersed in the program and actually envision myself as one among the world’s best athletes… all while chowing down on deep-fried oreos and guzzling down beer. A girl can dream, eh?

In another life, I may have been Lilly King throwin’ shade at Yulia Efimova.

When I do exercise, I pretend I’m training as an Olympic athlete. I took a hamster ladder class today and distracted myself from the sleepiness by pretending I was training for the Olympics. I can’t say for sure if that helped me perform better in class, but I’d like to think it did.

Me working out/pretending I’m training for the Olympics.

So, that’s how I am celebrating Rio 2016.

… I miss cable. T__T


2 thoughts on “A Cableless Olympics”

  1. If that gymnast were me, I would take a bit each time the gummy worm passed by my mouth, so would I be disqualified if my gummy worm disappeared before my dance routine ended? Just looking for your expert advice!


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